The essential guide to your first time at a fetish club

In recent years the fetish scene has flourished in London. It’s a fascinating and exciting place, where you can be yourself and no one gives a sh*t. 

If you’ve never been to one you might understandably feel nervous, however one thing is certain, as soon as you’ll step into the venue all inhibitions will be released and you’ll instantly feel at home.

So if you’re ready to venture down the fetish scene here’s a guide on how to navigate your first event:

Follow the dress code

First of all, make sure you respect the dress code. If you feel nervous and intimidated, or have no clue as to what to wear, don’t panic; check the dress code and gallery section on the event’s website to get an idea. You don’t need to spend hundreds of pounds in leather or latex clothing and you don’t need to be completely naked (unless you want to), but you do need to make an effort to blend into the scene. The people that venture into the fetish world want to feel free and feel like they can be their true selves without being judged, so try to put a little effort into your outfit. 

Read the signs

They’re hard to miss, they’re literally everywhere. I.e. No solo wanking. Whilst voyeurism is a legitimate kink, non-consensual masturbation while watching is just creepy. 

Consent, consent, consent

The most important rule is: ‘No’ means ‘no’. Every time I’ve been to fetish events I’ve felt safe, way safer than a night out at a London club, because everyone understands that consent is at the core of safety and respect. Same goes for touching: don’t touch without permission. 

First timers might assume that people go to fetish events to be touched and spanked but that is obviously not the case (at least not for everyone).

Equipment 

Most fetish clubs have different types of equipment (from cages to sex machines, swings, etc.). Security is there to make sure everything runs smoothly and everything is cleaned after use. You’re welcome to take your own condoms and lube but in fetish clubs these are literally free flowing. 

Ask the monitors

Every fetish event has monitors. They are there to make sure everyone feels safe and make sure no one takes photos or videos (and sometimes there to play with if you’re feeling lonely.) They’re extremely nice. You can ask them any questions and tell them whether you’re feeling confused or overwhelmed by any situation.

Don’t get too intoxicated

We all know liquid courage helps to reduce one’s inhibitions. Understandably, as a newbie you might want to have a few drinks, ending up in one too many, which might lead you to stumble across the venue trying to reach the toilets. Just remember the people that are there also had to go through what you’re going through now. Throwing up on the dance floor or worse, in the playroom, is not a vibe.

Don’t assume you will have sex

A lot of first timers assume they will walk in and immediately pick someone and get laid. The best nights are the ones where you just go because you f*cking love the outfit you bought and you want to dance your ass off. Those are the ones that actually might get you lucky! 

Don’t think too much and have fun

This is the place where you can really be yourself, you can let go of any insecurities, trust me no one gives a f*ck. 

You might also realise you’re into fetish in your personal life but fetish clubs are not your thing, and that’s totally fine. Have a laugh, dance your ass off, do whatever makes you happy, you’ll look f*cking hot doing it.