Interracial dating in the UK
Dating outside your race is not as it seems. We live in a progressive society, but there are still some hurdles. From my own experience, being a Filipino dude in Scotland, primarily dating someone outside my race, you stick out like a sore thumb. Here are the list of things I’ve learnt in my dating experience in the UK.
Don’t blame your lack of dating success on your race
Don’t be that guy! I used to have intrusive thoughts that if I were somehow “white”, the person I was interested in would fall for me. Looking back at it, what a fool I was. You can’t change your skin colour or your culture. What you can change is your values and how you assess social situations. She probably didn’t want you because you weren’t being your genuine self, and this goes out to guys with these messed up mindsets.
2. Be proud!
You’re culture, traditions, and upbringing is what makes you, you. Shout it out; don’t fit in the box that you think they want you to be in. Back in high school, I would pretend that I didn’t speak a word of Filipino; this meant I would talk to my mum in English when we were in public because I was afraid people would look at me sideways. When I grew older, I realised how stupid that was, and when my mum gave me a phone call I’d speak in Filipino and girls would be surprised to find out that I spoke other languages.
3. People will stare
I live in the small city of Aberdeen, where some of the locals have the “small town” mindset. When I go on dates with someone, we get dirty looks and the occasional “you make a handsome couple”. A thing that I succeed in is not caring what strangers think in areas of interracial dating, but I heard from friends of mine that it bothers them that people have thoughts like this.
4. Meeting the friends and family
What I do care about is what my friends and family think of me because I am a seasoned people pleaser with people I meet and get to know. I slowly slip into my culture and traditions with the weariness that I might scare them off. I don’t want to be referred to as that “one Asian guy that so and so dated”. So I lead with personality first. From my experience of cooking adobo and showing off karaoke skills to my date’s friends and family, it was nothing short of a blast.